Almost...

I almost did a headstand.

In yoga, last Friday morning, our instructor mentioned that we would all move to the wall and attempt headstands and handstands.  A few of us exchanged "yeah, right" glances with each other.  We all went ahead and moved our mats to the nearest wall.

I had attempted and succeeded in nailing a headstand a few years ago but I think it was sort of a fluke.  It felt triumphant.  But, I have missed many workouts since that time and I wasn't feeling sure of myself.

So, I laced my fingers together, tented my pinkies as the base of my stand.  I inverted the crown of my head to the floor with the back of my head pressing into the bowl my hands made.  I walked my feet towards my head and kicked up into a headstand.  Almost.

I tried, again.  And, again.  And, again.

I could get one leg up and straight and the other would almost reach the top.  The second leg couldn't quite make it.

The woman next to me said, "Faith, you are SO close!"  I was so close. 

She asked, "would you like me to help your last leg up a bit?"

I worried that I was taking away from her practice.  I didn't want to bother her.  I was concerned I would kick her.

So, I didn't accept the help.  And, I didn't do a headstand.

But, I was so close.  She was giving me feedback and she was there to support me.  But, I still worried and I didn't accept the invitation for support.

I think about this as we embark on our observations and feedback of each other.  I know we worry.  We worry that we aren't enough.  We worry that we are taking someone else's time.  We worry that we may be kicked.

But, you are enough and you are all worth each other's time.  Please, invite each other in.

I'm hoping, this week, for another chance to do a headstand.  I may even suggest it as I walk into class this Friday.  This time I will seek out help, invite feedback and accept support.  This time I will be triumphant.